I recently wrote a book review on Brian McLaren’s book, Everything Must Change. These are just some of my thoughts and journalings while reading it.
This book seems to validate all of my thoughts, aspirations, goals, and trains of thought. I’ve wondered for so long if this church life was really as good as it gets. Is this really the best we have to offer? Do we have to leave all of the big things up to charity groups, non-profits, and secular groups? Shouldn’t Christians and churches be the ones who are spearheading this movement? Isn’t this what Jesus talked about? The lost, the poor, the underprivileged, the hurting, those caught in self-perpetuating cycles of injustice and destruction. And it is not unrealistic or lofty or foolish to think that my voice can make a difference. The actions of one can have the effect of thousands. I had these thoughts for the better part of last year. I wondered, If this is all the Christian life is all about, I don’t think this is for me. There has to be more than this…Is this really what God intended? Are we living life the way God intended us to live this life to the fullest? Please let there be more than this…
For about two weeks, I really questioned my faith. I put it through the fire and analyzed and dissected every aspect of the Christian walk, faith, relationship, theology, doctrine, dogma, the church, and the church’s relationship to the world. As I prayed and thought, God brought me to the conclusion that He is exactly who He says He is. He has never faltered, and His relationship with me and with the world is and always will be one hundred percent. He will consistently pursue with an unrelenting love. It’s the church I have a problem with. Are we doing church the way God really intended? I have the opportunity to work with a church that is probably healthier and more active than most in it’s region. Yet despite this, I still have those gnawing questions of more, intentional living, and our level of responsibility in global concerns and issues. The church is good and active in a few parts of the community, but just because it is healthier and more active than most doesn’t mean that is it healthy and active. Or it just means that I need to find a new job. There is a small part of me that dreams that if I could do these 25 years all over again, I wouldn’t go into church work. I’d go into international law or government or politics, pursue a job at the UN, or work as a peacekeeping agent, or as pro-bono lawyer and advocate for refugees and the mistreated. I’d love to work to bring about health and positive change to dysfunctional social systems and governments. But I know that God has me exactly where He wants me, but equally, I know that He has put these goals and desires inside of me.
This is my generation, my life, my world. I will take my stand to engage in and participate in this catalyst to create positive change in our world. One is not too small.
